


Red Hood Stole my Bike

by Macko_99



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: #onlyingotham, Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Funny, Gen, Humor, New 52
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6176261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macko_99/pseuds/Macko_99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red Hood needs to catch some crooks that are getting away. Desperate times call for desperate measures as a poor girl realises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Hood Stole my Bike

**Author's Note:**

> Short one-shot based on my #onlyingotham post of the same name on Tumblr. Pure fun and crack.
> 
> I do not own DC, Batman or any related works.

Jason got there five minutes too late. The gang had already rushed in and robbed the bar just as it was closing. Nobody killed but they got all the money.

Normally Jason wouldn’t be as worried as he was over a simple robbery. But he went to this bar and he knew the people who ran it. It was his favourite place in Gotham but it was running low on funds. A robbery would ruin it.

But they already had a good head start and even grappling up the rooftops wouldn’t catch them in time before they got a car. 

It was moments like these where he wishes he had a glider or a cape. Damn his fashion sense and his need to wear leather.

He turned away from the bar and thought of his options. He had no bike and the nearest transport was too far away. He weighed his options until he saw his answer.

A girl of about nineteen was cycling past the bar on a white bicycle with turned down handlebars and tassels on the ends. 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” He muttered before running to the girl.

The girl spotted him running towards her and a look of surprise engulfed her features as she stepped off the bike. “Oh my God you’re the Red Hood! One of the Batfamily!”

“Yeah, yeah, I am. Listen I need your bicycle. Some crooks robbed this joint I need to catch them.” Before she could respond he pulled the bike away from her and jumped on before peddling away.

He could hear the girl call him a ‘Rude jerk’ as he peddled away.  
________________________________________  
He finally caught up to the robbers. The group of four had just reached their getaway vehicle, a black sedan. 

Jason couldn’t help but smirk. Perfect time to attack.

He leapt off the bike and drew his rubber bullet loaded pistols. He fired two shots each at two of the guys. They went down groaning. The other two turned as Red Hood rushed them.

Jason attacked the crook that had drawn his gun first. He grabbed the arm holding the gun and landed two quick punches in his gut. This caused him to keel over and drop the gun into Jason’s hand.

Jason then threw the gun at the last man, causing him to drop his own. Jason then kneed the man he was holding in the head to knock him out. He then turned to take out the last man but there was no need to.

In the very short time that Jason had turned away from the last man, Batgirl had landed behind him and taken him down.

“I had him BG.” Jason stated as he dusted his hands and picked up the bag containing the stolen cash.

“Sure you did Hood.” Batgirl answered, sarcasm leaking from the answer.

“Whatever. Thanks for the assist but I gotta go return this.” He gestured to the bag and began to turn away in the direction of the bar.

“Yeah can I ask you a question?” Batgirl asked. Jason stopped and turned back.

“Sure. What?” 

“Why did you chase these guys down on a bicycle?” She gestured to the abandoned bicycle.

“Oh uh it was the best option available.”

“Uh huh, where did you get it?”

“Um I took it from some girl.” Barbara’s eyebrows shot up at the answer.

“You took it?” She asked incredulously.

“Well technically I borrowed it.” He explained.

“Right, are you going to return it?” Batgirl asked with her arms crossed. The tone and posture made it more of an order than a question.

“Um. Yes.” Jason answered. He was only slightly ashamed at how Barbara could make him do things even after all these years.

“Good. Let’s go.” She said as she went and picked up the bicycle.

“I can do it myself.” Jason did not need a witness for this as he took the bike off Barbara.

“No you can’t.” She answered simply as the pair made for the bar and hopefully the girl.  
________________________________________

The girl was right were Jason had left her, typing away on her phone.

Jason walked up to her, rolling the bike on his right side with the money and Barbara walking beside him on his right. He would freely admit that this was just a little bit embarrassing. 

‘God I hope Replacement doesn’t hear about this.’ he thought.

The girl looked up and saw the pair, surprise and shock developing on her face. 

A stern look from Batgirl made Jason cough and speak up. “Hey listen, um thank you for lending me your bike. I’m sorry for taking it without asking.” He pushed the bike towards her and she grabbed it, not taking her eyes off the pair.

“Sure, no problem. Thank-you for bringing it back.” She smiled at the pair who nodded before turning around to the bar.

As they walked Batgirl reached out her hand and smacked Red Hood hard on the back of his head.

“Oww, what the hell was that for?” Jason asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

“For stealing a girl’s bike without asking.” Batgirl answered with a smirk.

“I need a drink.” Jason grumbled as the pair entered the bar.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> The original post by myself, macko-99:
> 
> Red Hood just stole my bike to go after some muggers #rude #didn'tsaythankyou #onlyingotham
> 
> UPDATE: Red Hood came back with my bike with Batgirl. Said he was sorry. Batgirl was glaring #notsobad #onlyingotham
> 
> UPDATE: Batgirl smacked him over the head as they left #Ha #girlpower #onlyingotham
> 
> The full story just came to me last night. Hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Comments are most welcome.


End file.
